words not expected by the world
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine at church. Both of our husbands were out of town for the week at the same conference. We were trading updates on how things were going in lieu of their absence.
She asked me if I cooked any when my husband was out of town. I laughingly told her no and that I had forgotten to feed my kids dinner the night before. They munched on granola bars as I was herding them upstairs for bed. She too, she found it difficult to be motivated to cook.
As we walked out the door of church and to our cars, my younger 2 boys hopped right into her van. As I tried to coerce them back out, she said “That’s okay, I’ll just take them with me.” I quickly replied, “I will let you have them this week.” She graciously laughed an understanding laugh, but as I walked away, my heart was heavy with regret.
You see, I had just had the most wonderful day with all four of my children! It was not problem free by any means. There were there were normal sibling arguments scattered throughout the day, but in that I caught glimpses of them pursuing unity and working out their disagreements among themselves.
I watched my younger 2 boys play together and carry on conversations as they shared and raced their Hot Wheels down the hallway.
I enjoyed hearing the ideas and hearts of my older two daughters as we planned a surprise birthday party for my husband.
I distinctly remember walking downstairs midway through our school day thinking, “someone must be praying for us and our day, it has just been so supernaturally blessed for it not to have been prayed over.”
My Heart Felt One Way, but My Words Said Another….
Enter in my just uttered words.
They did not accurately represent my thoughts or heart over the day. They were absentmindedly spoken. Proverbs 25:11 says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
Why did I just do that? Why did I not first ponder what to say, and not just blurt something out? Why is there this unforeseen pressure to just follow along with the status quo?
I think what motivated me to say those words was because they were expected. Expected to be said by someone who had four children, attempting to wrangle them in the car, and them having fled in four different directions.
How often do we answer with what is expected? Why do I not see the opportunity to bear witness to the magnificent grace the Lord has chosen to gift us with, in whatever the situation?
In the World but…..
We are not called to live in the world of “expected’ or status quo though. I am called to “live in the world, but not of the world.” (John 17: 14-16)
My response was “of the world”
“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven”. (Matthew 5:13-16)
Sometimes I fear my answer will be viewed as not being transparent, but rather trying to portray an image that “I have it all together” (which is so far, SO very far from the truth!). I think this can motivate my words more than I would like it too. My mind immediately went to the apostle Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians 1:31b “…Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
A Different Approach
As I reflect back on the situation, I could have shared with my friend of how God worked in our day at home. This would have been an opportunity to give Him glory and praise for this very great grace of work He had done for us. It may have been just the encouragement that she might have needed to hear. If nothing else, as I verbalized His clear evidences of workings, my heart would be filled again with praise for Him.
“Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together.” (Psalm 34:3)
Another option would have been for me to keep my mouth shut.
Proverbs 17:27-28 speaks to this “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
Next time.
I am already praying in advance for the next time. That He would enable me to be aware of this mindless tendency of myself. That I would choose the words that build up, bring life, and praise our God. Will you choose this with me? Blessings!
