confusing the faithfulness of God
I vividly remember sitting at my grandfather’s funeral in December of 2000, singing one of the great hymns, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” I was perplexed. Here we were singing about God’s faithfulness, but my “Papa” had passed away…I could not reconcile the two.
Fast forward 18 years and many more life experiences, yet this concept of the Lord’s faithfulness seemed to allude me.
How could people speak of His faithfulness but not receive the desired outcome for which they were earnestly praying? I did not understand…was I the only one who struggled with this?
My Wondering Continued…
A few months back, our family received some unexpected news of a family member who was sick. As she was in the hospital being evaluated to determine the diagnosis, discouraging results seemed to mount. More tests, scans and consults seem to only yield more questions and sadness.
I was at a low point. “Lord, where are you?” I felt my heart cry out. With almost each passing hour that day, new information seemed to surface and worsen. I was at a loss, not knowing what to do.
Aren’t these “losses” sometimes our greatest places to be?
Not necessarily from our perspective, but from His?
When we are at a loss…having absolutely nothing to offer to the situation, doesn’t it seem like that is when we learn our most valuable lessons? In God’s economy, the way He works and goes about accomplishing His will is seldom the way we would expect Him to work or we ourselves would choose. I am thankful for how Scripture speaks to this.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Is 55:8-9 ESV)
The Questions Poured Out
I did the only thing I knew to do. I went into my closet and poured out my heart to Him. I was voicing all the questions I was embarrassed, even shame-filled, for thinking. He already knew them, right? I was not hiding anything from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the maker of this world.
“…for You alone know every human heart.” (1 Kings 8:39)
I was reminded of Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
“Why Lord, why is all this happening? Why Lord, after a dedicated life of serving and following you so diligently, is this person walking this hard road? How can this be viewed as something you will use for good? Where are you?”
I hoped in my honest confession of these thoughts and questions, He would meet with me and put these questions to rest.
What I Received…..
In my time that morning, I felt Him gently wrap me up in His arms and hold me. He brought many Scripture references to my mind to counter the questions I had.
One of my all-time favorite Scriptures from Deuteronomy 31:8 came to mind. “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
My Eyes Were Opened
You see, I had confused God’s faithfulness with Him answering my prayers according to how I was praying, desiring the outcome after which I was seeking. Does that make sense? I had gotten the two intertwined, when nowhere in Scripture are we taught this.
The Lord kindly reminded me that morning that He was with me.
He orchestrated another event that morning that could only be “from Him”. Have you ever had those moments? Times in which you cannot even begin to put into words how something happened, other than to say it was completely a supernatural working of the Lord?
He brought Isaiah 43:1-2 to mind “But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”
What Exactly Does He Promise?
He never said He would keep us from walking through the waters of suffering and trials, He said that He would walk with us.
That is the beautiful “pearl” the Lord opened my eyes too that morning. All these years, I had incorrectly interpreted the faithfulness of God. He did not ensure my every asking in prayer would be answered. Through His presence, He offered me the faithfulness of His character.
This is why people can sing, after heartache, loss and the worst imaginable news. They recognize something that completely alluded me.
Their God, my God, OUR God would walk each step with them. His presence caused them reason to sing, to rejoice, and to praise Him! They know with every fiber in their being that this world is not their home.
Biblical Truths in Our Songs
It reminds me of the song by Mercy Me entitled “Even If”.
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
Even if, the worst possible scenario plays out in our life, we can still have hope, we can still bank on the faithfulness of our God to walk with us. Shouldn’t that be what we long for most? Knowing that we are not alone, that our Creator God is taking each step in this life with us? He knows this life is hard. He sprinkles this truth all throughout His Word. That is why He offers us Himself, as our tether in the storms and trials of life.
Matt Maher’s song “Lord, I Need You” has insightful wording that paints a beautiful picture of Jesus’ role in the harder times of our lives.
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
When I cannot stand I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay
The word “stay” as definited by Webster’s 1828 dictionary refers to “the rigging of a ship, a large strong rope employed to support the mast, by being extended from its upper end to the stem of the ship”.
That is exactly what Jesus is! He is our “strongest rope” that secures us as life in this world tosses us to and fro. We are guaranteed that life will present trials and struggles. We are told to expect this as a result of the Fall. We are also told that “greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.” (1 Jn 4:4 b).
What About You?
In continued hope that this blog is a place where we can share and be transparent with one another in our wrestlings and struggles, what are you currently walking through in life that may have you questioning the faithfulness of God? How can I be praying for you?
Maybe these Scriptures throughout this post will be the very spoken words of God that allow your heart to rest in the midst of the uncertainity life brings. What has He taught you that has helped to serve as a tether in the midst of your trials? I love how we, as the body of Christ, can learn from each other, and I hope this blog can serve to facilitate this! Blessings to you as we recognize God’s faithfulness in our lives through His presence!
References:
“Even If” by Mercy Me
“Lord, I Need You” by Matt Maher
Websters 1828 Dictionary
